Has a pet sent you a sign in the clouds?
January 5, 2025
The Silence After a Loss
January 15, 2025Are You Unfixable? Me too
Grief is not fixable
I am a private griever. One who goes into seclusion to grieve. I do not want to be around anyone except my companion animals.
I rarely share the depths of my emotions or post all about it on social media.
I would rather hone my hermit skills quietly at home on top of a mountain in solitary seclusion.
I don’t need to be fixed.
I am not broken.
In the emotional, heartache sense, yes, totally shattered.
Don’t tell me to look at the ‘bright side’
While condolences are appreciated, I do not want to hear about the ‘bright side’ and all I should be grateful for.
Attempts to cheer me up are futile. Just let me be in pain.
Acknowledge where I am and what I’m feeling. That is what I need.
Join me where I’m at by saying these things:
“I’m sorry this is happening to you. Do you want to talk about it?”
Let me hurt. I will feel better when you give me that space to just be.
There is no shortcut through the pain of a loss
When we see someone hurting we want to fix it.
If you don’t know what you need, tell them that too.
It is okay to not be okay.
Here is my acknowledgment to you and all the unfixables out there.
I am so sorry for your loss. You must be devastated. I am so sorry you are in so much pain. I am here for you.
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8 Comments
Thank you so much Karen for validating me. I am unfixable too. Most do not know what to say and when they say something it is the wrong thing and makes me feel worse. I held my angel Guido in my arms as he took his last breath two weeks ago. I have never felt so much pain before and I have lost human loved ones in the past. This was different.
I am so glad I found you. You are such a gift to this world. Please, keep writing your amazing books.
I’m so sorry for the loss of Guido. It is a painful journey when we have to say goodbye. I’m honored to be a positive part of healing for you.
Count me in too. I have finally started to feel better now that I read your books. I thought there was something wrong with me because no one understood my pain. You do. I am so grateful to you Karen. You have saved me from the deepest darkest place I never want to go back to again. My sweet girl, Panda, a Shih Tzu mix, has been the light of my life for 14 years. I miss her so much but know I know she can hear me and see me. I am indebted to you forever. Your books saved me
I welcome you to the Unfixable Club. I am so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to say goodbye to someone you love so much. I am very grateful for your kindness
I am unfixable too. I don’t want to be fixed. I’m at the ‘leave me alone’ stage in my grief. It is a long and lonely road but your site has helped me. I downloaded your app and just started watching your podcasts. Truly amazing information. I knew there was an afterlife but your experiences have helped me understand how to stay connected with my beautiful boy, Sherman. I rescued him from a high kill shelter in 2017 and we just lost him three months ago. He had a rare cancer and I had to let him go. Thank you for helping me realize that his spirit will always be with me.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Being unfixable is perfectly fine and you are in good company. I’m so glad you found me and please know that your angel Sherman will always be by your side.
Yes, I am unfixable too. But I’m okay with that. Losing Beefy, my quarterhorse has been the most painful experience I have ever gone through. We still don’t know what happened but my devastation has creeped into every aspect of my life. He was my rock. My everything. I miss his gorgeous face, his funny quirks when saddling him and his nickers when he saw me. No one has helped me except you Karen. Thank you for everything. I booked a session with one of your colleagues and I am so excited to hear from him. Sending you love and gratitude.
I’m so sorry for the loss of Beefy. I have horses too. They connect to our souls so deeply. Thank you for booking a session. One message can completely shift the pain into healing.