When is the Right Time to Euthanize?
April 15, 2021
Time…It is all your pets want from you
July 23, 2021Some Will Never Understand Your Grief…
When you’ve suffered a loss there are very few you can turn to for comfort.
Your world comes to a screeching halt and everything changes in a split second.
Few words can ease your pain…
Some offer condolences but often their well-intended words fall short of softening our pain and sometimes they cut even deeper into our hearts and make us feel even worse.
I’m a very private griever. I turn into a hermit and find solace in being alone.
You may be the opposite and that is perfectly fine too.
When it comes down to it…It is impossible for anyone to feel the depths of pain you are enduring.
Those are precious and personal bonds of love that were torn apart.
Only you can feel it.
There is no repair kit.
No easy fix.
Your path is a journey of exploration…
Finding the true meaning of life, love, and perhaps why you had to say goodbye to the love of your life.
The lack of support from those around us can leave us feeling so alone. It is so important to surround yourself with those who can empathize with your loss and truly grasp the depths of pain you are feeling. A support system of one person is better than none. That one person can help make your journey a bit more bearable.
I hope you will not only seek the company of like-minded souls such as on my Facebook page where pet parents gather for support.
But I also hope that someday when someone needs you…that you will be that ONE person for someone else who is struggling.
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Your healing begins now.
Take the first step.
You deserve it.
Your departed angel wants you to move into healing as soon as you can.
If you have already gone down the lonely path of grief…
What kind of griever are you?
What was the hardest part for you and what finally helped you move out of your pain?
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16 Comments
Karen,
Two years ago I had to put my 13 year old cat sleep and I was devastated. I got both your books, read them and reached a point where I was often getting and recognizing signs of “Ginger” being here.
Last night was the most recent sign. I have a pole lamp next to my bed in the bedroom. I was just waking up when I realized that the room was a little brighter than it should have been. The pole lamp was on but dimly, I said hi Ginger. The lamp went up another brighter level and then went off. This happened once before and scared the hell out of me until I remembered that
our deceased pets can use electrical things to get our attention. When I put on this light I have to physically click the knob to put it on. It is so wonderful having this experience.
Wow! That is amazing! I love hearing how creative departed pets can be when they let us know they are near. That is wonderful and I am so happy for you. I have had ‘weird’ things happen to that caught me off guard but I welcome those crazy messages and signs now. I hope you thanked Ginger for using up all that energy to send you a loving sign.
I am responding to the questions above … what kind of griever am I? … and what was the hardest part and what finally helped me move out of pain?
I am a solitary griever too. For me being alone is how I can remember and feel and hurt and connect with my emotions. I have not had the luxury of being alone to grieve as I have been sharing the family home with my sister and her grown son, and their two dogs. They arrived six weeks before my beloved passed in a sudden and unexpected passing.
This last part has been very very painful as my sister and her dog are now occupying the space, literally, that I shared with my beloved beloved dog alone, here with him, before they moved to the family homestead. I have had to grieve and have needed to be alone, all the while sharing space with two beings occupying “the space” I had to give up. Obviously, it is extremely hard for me to process my pain and be around their bond and togetherness.
I have not come through the pain, it has been eleven months. Not even sure I ever will. I love this dog so intensely and our bond is unique to any relationship I have ever had. I have had to let other dogs go as it became their time to transition and so I know the difference I have experienced grieving. This is beyond what I thought I could, would ever endure. Still don’t know what it’s going to take … time?
I am so very sorry for the loss of your companion soul-dog. It hurts so deeply to lose someone you love so much. I find it easier to work through grief when I am alone or in the company of my other companion animals. Most people don’t know how to support us when we grieve. They just want us to ‘get over it as fast as we can and stop pouting and brooding. That doesn’t work for me. I need lots of time and lots of patience. Each loss hits me hard, and it gets harder each time. My heart goes out to you and I hope you will do two things if you have not already done so. First, get a copy of my book, The Amazing Afterlife of Animals. Read it several times. Even I have had to go back and read it again because there is so much information. Next, give yourself permission to grieve as long as you need to. There is no amount of time that takes away our pain. It just softens over time. I’m here for you. Sending love and healing…
I am a private griever wanting to be alone with my pain and sorrow. I had a few favorite photos enlarged to 8 x 10’s, framed and hung over my bed of my beautiful cat of 18 yrs. Since his beautiful soul shined through his photos, I talked to them and blew a kiss to them every day for 3 years. Then I was somehow directed to finding your books on Amazon website when I was looking for something else. Your two books helped me let go of my grief and I started sending him happy thoughts instead of regret for all the things I might have done wrong over his 18 year life. I let go and have been able to enjoy having two new young kitties to brighten my life.
I am so with you on being a private griever. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved kitty. Eighteen years is a lifetime of love, memories, and companionship. It is so hard to say goodbye. I love hearing about your photos and you two new kitties…that is a wonderful way to honor your boy. Nothing brightens the day like kittens. It warms my heart to hear that my books have helped you through the pain. You are welcomed here with me and I will continue to provide loving support. Sending love and healing…
Dear Karen, I am so sorry for your Lilly and you are on my thoughts. I am a private griever too. I do believe that grief is very personal, so no matter how much we are prepared or even encouraged to share it, the deep grief within will never go away, only its rough edges might get smoothed in the moment by sharing. There is no respite and no solace, there is no miracle cure because our loved one, a unique being, is irreplaceable. Reading your book (The Amazing Afterlife of Animals) in the aftermath of my Tickle’s passing one year ago did bring some sort of peace and reassurance in knowing my boy is still by my side, yet I find that dealing with the every day is challenging. What is helping me is to have kept all of Tickle’s belongings in situ. Anyone coming into my house wouldn’t know Tickle has crossed over, they would expect him to happily barge into the house like he used to as a vivacious Jack Russell Terrier. Thanks for being around us pet grievers, Karen: you are doing an amazing job and we are feeling supported in our grief.
I am so sorry for the loss of your angel, Tickle. Such a cute name and I’m sure the love of your life. I appreciate your kindness and each of your words eases my loss so thank you. We grieve so deeply because we love so deeply. Those are the best folks to be around. Sending love and healing
Hi Karen. I contacted you back in May after losing my beloved Katie (Old English sheepdog) after 13 amazing and wonderful years… I am still so heartbroken and missing her SO very much plus I seem to be caught in a cycle of guilt (for lack of a better word) over times when I wasn’t as patient with her as I should have been 😢. I also still cry everyday missing her. Yet I am SOOO thankful to have known and loved her. Could my being caught in this cycle be preventing her from connecting with me? I worry that I won’t be able to reach her… What can you suggest for me? Thank you for all you do for all of us, so grateful to have found you.
I am so sorry for the loss of your angel, Katie. Thirteen years is a lifetime of loving memories and rarely, if ever, do departed pets mention our human errors. They never blame us or hold us responsible for our actions. You are looping those thoughts in your mind needlessly. Let them go. Release all that no longer serves you and replace those negative thoughts with positive uplifting memories. I am pretty sure she has already contacted you and is always near but your own guilt, grief, and human-ness are likely blocking you from sensing her. I have walked that path of blame and guilt before so I speak from personal experience. All it does is waste precious energy. Choose another thought. Trust she is near. May you find the peace you deserve. Sending love and healing…
Hi Karen here’s part two to my message. I don’t do Facebook but your daily posts have definitely resonated with me and my overwhelming feeling of loss over Katie. She was (still is) the best companion ever and my heart dog. I also agree with other people that you have a gift and are a very special person. XOXO
Thank you so much for your kindness. You’ve made my day! I’m so glad you were guided to me to find the loving support you deserve. Biggest hugs!
Thank you Karen for your kind words and support. I was having a really bad day that day. Your words have definitely helped.
Of course, I’m honored to be a part of your healing journey
Karen (forgive my previous short message). I wanted to say you’re welcome and thank you for your compassion and understanding. Your response has really helped me and I will work on letting go of thoughts that don’t serve anyone. I know you are still getting through your own loss of Lilly and you take on what the rest of us are going through too. THANK YOU!!!!
No need to ask for forgiveness! I appreciate your kindness… and you are welcome!